Amanda Kloots Says Picking Up Late Husband Nick Cordero’s Ashes Was ‘Beyond Surreal and Horrible’

Late Broadway actor, Nick Cordero’s wife, Amanda Kloots, recently opened up, in a series of Instagram Stories, about how understandably difficult it has been coping with her husband’s death, a month later.

“I’ve literally felt like I can’t even function”

In an emotional update on Saturday, the fitness instructor, whose husband died at the age of 41 last month from COVID-19 complications, spoke about how the past few weeks have been “really hard” for her.

“I’ve literally felt like I can’t even function. Where I’m just kind of in a fog and I don’t even know what I’m doing or what I’m saying,” she said. “Thank God for my brother and sister-in-law because they’ve rescued me and [1-year-old son] Elvis a lot.”

“It was beyond surreal and horrible”

Kloots also went on to share that she had recently picked up her late husband’s ashes.

“It was beyond surreal and horrible.” However, there was a sense of light and optimism in Kloots. “ A good friend of mine said some beautiful advice: look at it as you have him with you now,” Kloots said. “Which is really a nice way of looking at it, which is true.”

“I know Nick would have just been through the moon”

Kloots has been going through an emotionally difficult time, but moving into a new home has given her “something to look forward to.”

“I know Nick would have just been through the moon. So it makes me excited to move in and live there and make it our own and make Nick’s presence there,” she said of their new Los Angeles home. Which includes a dining table built with the title of the late Broadway star’s hit song “Live Your Life” engraved onto its surface.

“You know, even just dropping a text, could be helpful”

Kloots also took the opportunity to share some of the things that have helped her through her grieving process so far. “The first thing is the friends and family support system is wonderful. You know, even people that just drop a text that says ‘thinking of you,’ or ‘love you,’ or ‘you’re not alone,’ could be helpful,” she said. Adding that taking up tennis, which isn’t “connected to my old life” has been enjoyable as well.

Her daily workouts with her sister-in-law have also helped give Kloots something to do every day. “No matter how sad or in a fog I am, I do it because I always feel better afterward,” she said.

“It’s a double-edged sword of trying to make yourself happy and also being a constant reminder of the change”

Although the process of moving has been exciting, the unpacking process has been full of sorrows. “It’s been hard, you know,” she said, “sorting through everything and all of Nick’s stuff and deciding what to keep.”

One item that unexpectedly made her upset was unpacking The Grinch. “I started balling because that just made me sad thinking about Christmas already,” Kloots shared. “It’s a double-edged sword of trying to make yourself happy and also being a constant reminder of the change and everything that’s happening in our lives right now,” she added.

“I wish I could say it has got easier”

Last week Kloots shared a touching tribute to mark the one-month anniversary of her husband’s death. “Dear Nick, it’s been one month since you’ve been gone,” she wrote. “I wish I could say it has got easier, but with each passing day I miss you more and more. I wish I could see you, hold you, kiss you, talk to you, hear your voice, get a hug, see you with Elvis. Your huge presence in our lives is missed every second of every day. I love you forever and always ❤️,” she added. She also posted a photo of her son Elvis with the caption, “He’s got his dad’s swagger.”

Cordero’s COVID-19 Complications

Cordero died in July after complications with COVID-19. Prior to his death, Cordero was hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for more than 90 days due to complications related to the Coronavirus. During his hospitalization, he had a succession of health setbacks. Including mini-strokes, blood clots, sepsis infections, a tracheotomy and a temporary pacemaker implant. He had been on a ventilator, unconscious and had his right leg amputated.

Kloots chronicled his medical journey on social media and regularly shared updates to her followers on the ups and downs of her husband’s recovery.

The actor received a Tony nomination for his role in Bullets Over Broadway. He also appeared in productions of Waitress, A Bronx Tale and Rock of Ages. Nick appeared as Victor Lugo in the CBS drama Blue Bloods and appeared in the Zach Braff-directed, Going in Style. Kloots chronicled his medical journey on social media. In support of Cordero’s family, a GoFundMe page was created to raise funds for his medical bills.